Silver Linings

Use the term silver lining when you want to emphasize the hopeful side of a situation that might seem gloomy on the surface. The common expression "every cloud has a silver lining" means that even the worst events or situations have some positive aspect.

We slept late into the afternoon of our first day here. Then the sun began to set a few hours later, so it was night again. My kids were in a haze, half asleep, half awake, sad, happy, crying, laughing. There wasn't really any other food here other than the uncooked pasta I had sent ahead with my husband when he first left for Iran (the 3 months before). The silver lining was we'd brought some candy, ramen noodles, and instant macaroni packs with us from America, so we cracked those open once here and zapped them in the microwave.

By the second day, our sleeping was still haywire, but we made sure to get up during daylight. I wanted to get out of our place so we drove to the store (in the car my husband just bought from a friend). We weren't accustomed to sitting in a 4 door sedan since we've had a roomy Honda mini-van for the past 11 years in America. Plus the seatbelt buckles in the backseat were buried inside the seats and un-getable! Driving in the backseat without seat belts seems to be a thing here, grrrr.

There's not much to see in our neighborhood of Pardisan (the city next to Qom). Dirt. Buildings. Random people walking here or there. Not much greenery at all. The silver lining is that we are near the holy city of Qom. I look forward to being able to spend time there soon.

We got to the store. It was full of a variety of different things from decorative items, kids' toys, and then a grocery section. I took several photos discreetly (I feel like people might find it suspicious for me to be taking them).

The workers there were not really friendly, but they were also not rude. I tried smiling at a female clerk but she just sort of stared back. My husband mentioned that people here would indeed be able to tell we were foreign to Iran like tourists or something.

I kept trying to compare prices of the items but obviously couldn't because the prices were in Farsi. Most of the items were familiar looking so we grabbed a few things we could use in the next few days. The silver lining was that we didn't have to worry about the ingredients--it was all halal of course! We really got a kick out of this Spongebob ketchup!

We went home after a short while. It was nice to get out but also a relief to be back in our own place. After our tumultuous first night here, being safe and sound in a peaceful and private space felt good.

However, slowly but surely the good time didn't last long as my eldest daughter started losing her cool at not having internet access. My husband had hoped his friend would have had time to set it up while we were still in Texas, but that didn't happen. It was again one of those "I know this guy who knows this guy" who's going to set it up but he hasn't called and/or texted yet, so we're in the dark moments.

Soon I lost my cool too. I needed internet to connect to others! And though we had a television, every show was in Farsi! I was in another world, on another planet. The tension was high, the misery growing.

At some point, we got the internet working. It felt un-real, too good to be true. We started feeling normal again.

I noticed there is an English speaking channel here called PRESS TV (silver lining alert!). It's mostly depressing world news but also has interesting bits and pieces about Iranian life. It was so comforting to just hear English being spoken, to be able to understand. Soon I noticed there were several familiar movies and shows that are broadcasted here in Farsi, e.g. Sense and Sensibility!

The celebration about internet was dampened slightly when we learned that the net is not unlimited with a set price. It's cost is based on amount of time spent using it. And with 5 people here, 4 of whom that are home 24/7 and rely on the net a lot of activities--the costs will add up quickly so inshaaAllah we can manage. We're trying to limit internet use, but it does take getting used to. So many times I've wanted to look up some information on the net, but had to stop myself. The good thing about this is that I spend a lot less time reading comments from online articles!  That's a silver lining for sure.

By the way, I know I'm using the term silver lining a bit incorrectly in some of these examples, haha!

Alhamdulillah
InshaaAllah
Salam

Landed

We've been in Iran for 5 days now. We finally got the internet hooked up yesterday (an ordeal in itself), which has helped the kids and I feel a lot more in control of our environment by being able to connect with others and with the part of the English speaking we've lived with our entire lives.

It has been a surreal culture shock. I had a panic attack the first night. Everyday since I've had that "I want to go back" feeling. Sometimes it feels like I'm stranded on an unknown island with no way off. Still, I have positive moments too. I'm glad we're finally here, that nervousness I had back in America about "moving to Iran" soon has obviously disappeared and there's a sense of relief in knowing we've arrived, we've landed.

The flight from DFW to DUBAI had many, many, many people on it, especially Indian people. I've never seen so many lovely Indian grandmothers in saris waiting to board while sitting in wheelchairs. The 15 hour flight on EMIRATES was enjoyable with plenty of on-screen entertainment and decent enough food and service.

The Dubai airport was quiet and fancy, with shiny GUCCI, CHANEL, and HERMES retail stores. The food there was halal. The McDONALD'S there gave out packaged bananas with every combo meal. We lounged at the airport for 6 hours.

The kids had not slept at all up until then.

Walking with all of our carry ons and backpacks was difficult, as was getting on the plane with all that baggage. We boarded the plane to Tehran. The kids finally got knocked out into a deep sleep then but we had to wake them up when we landed.

At this point we were exhausted and I was suddenly shocked and afraid at the reality that we were now "home" in a land in which I could not understand or speak the language. There was a huge crowd of people waiting to get through the Visa sections. No one cared two flying figs that we were weighed down by all of our luggage and had 3 children, two of which were loudly melting down. We were shuffled from this line to the next back and forth until we were the last group to get through the line.

Then my husband had to find and load all of the 5 suitcases and 5 boxes that arrived in the baggage claim on his own (his friend couldn't make it to help). We got outside to wait for the truck that would load our luggage and drive it an hour towards our apartment in Pardisan. We waited an hour for that truck to arrive. Then we had to wait for the "taxi" that would take us there. The drivers of the truck and the "taxi" were friends of a friend (like that scene from Spongebob, "I knew this guy") so it was difficult to know when they would arrive since they were not professionals.

It was very difficult to stand there waiting so long while my son sobbed from exhaustion all while there were professional taxi drivers asking if we needed a ride. But we were trying to save on cab-fare and already committed to having the help of these friends of friends so we waited. Finally me and my kids got in the "taxi" of the guy (it was just his own car). My husband did not get in immediately and I was terrified that this guy would just take off without my husband. These guys only speak Farsi of course.

Then the hour long drive there was harrowing. No seat belts in the car. The guy driving so fast. The dark of night. The guy speaking Farsi loudly on his phone. The guy pulling over on the side of the road a few times because his friend the truck driver was behind or ahead or lost. The drive seeming to last forever.

The guy gave us some fruit. I took it as if it might be the only thing we would eat in who knows when. We arrived at our complex, still shellshocked. It was nice to be indoors in our own place. Then the next phase of adjustment had to begin.

I had taken photographs and video of every leg of the journey. Unfortunately, most of my footage was deleted when trying to adjust my iPhone here (something about a new SIM card, unlocking my phone, and a hot spot). I definitely love technology but have no idea how it all works.

I was able to make this short and silly video of the first part of our flight.

Stay tuned for more details about our journey...

No Visa, No Problem.

Actually, it's a big problem.

Our Iranian visas had not arrived and we were set to leave in 2 days. Once we heard that they were confirmed in Iran, we still had to get the confirmation codes sent to the Iranian Embassy in Washington, D.C. to get the final clearance. We had to consider if we wanted to risk waiting for them on the day of our flight, biting our nails with stress, or go ahead and reschedule our flights for a later day, paying a hefty fee to do so.

Then my husband came up with another idea. He bought a ticket to Washington, D.C. for the day before our flight. He went directly to the Iranian visa office there (he had called ahead to tell them he would be there) and got the relevant info and clearance. While he was there he discovered that his own Iranian Visa, which he thought had previously been completely cleared, had not been, so it was a very good thing that he'd gone ahead and flown out there directly! He arrived back in Texas the night before our flight.

Stress.

We had packed 5 large suitcases, 5 carry ons, 5 backpacks, and 5 large boxes. Believe it or not, we still had many belongings that we had to leave behind. I really wanted the kids to be able to take whatever special items such as their toys and books which they liked. These children have had to move a lot and give up a lot of stability, so I wanted them to have personal items that give them comfort.

I mentally prepared for the long flights ahead. Of course my main worry was that the kids would be bored and get restless during the 15+ hours of the first part. Also worrying was their potential exhaustion in the next 10 hours until we arrived in Pardisan. And then of course, I was nervous about the shock of being in a new place and country, establishing a new routine.

To be continued...

InshaaAllah
Alhamdulillah

Design on a Dime

When students are accepted into the Hawza (Shia universities), the single guys and gals will be placed in dorm rooms provided by the Hawza. There are also separate dorms for families provided, but from what I've seen, those are not always guaranteed to be quick in coming or even "ready" in terms of utilities (as seen in this video made by an adorable young married couple studying in Qom). Other Hawza students coming from abroad can also rent or buy their own home or apartment. We were on a waiting list for a family dorm, but time was running out, so my husband was able to find this apartment for a low rent.

Some may wonder how a family of 5 can afford to uproot itself and go across the world to start over, both financially and mentally. I'll get to the mental aspect in another post, but as far as financially, I'll just say it's due to donations, sponsorship, and charity. Students are usually on a tight budget with some income here and there, but of course, money and security take a huge hit with this lifestyle. 

The apartments there are usually unfurnished, with no appliances such refrigerators or stoves, so people have to purchase all these items themselves. In the Qom area there is a website similar to our Craigslist that offers used furniture and household items.

These are a few of the items that my husband has been able to buy so far. Of course, as a woman who once wanted to be an interior designer and still pins cool rooms from Apartment Therapy, it has been a test of letting go as I haven't been part of choosing items. But my husband has done a great job, especially considering the time crunch, his lack of transportation and his beginner Farsi! I'm glad that when we arrive in Iran after traveling 24 plus hours, we'll have lovely, roomy couches and beds to rest our weary selves, inshaaAllah.

Here you can see the cozy couch set that sits atop the 2 large Persian rugs that were bought (there is no carpet in most apartments there). The room's dimensions are measured and taken to the rug store to purchase large rugs such as these. The same is true for curtains.

So lovely, so huge. What is that show my husband has on the TV? Probably an Iranian drama. 

Authentic Persian rug, cool huh?

These carpets are measured to fit into the two bedrooms.

Several items were purchased from a family who was moving to the USA from Iran.

This washing machine was purchased new and is located in the kitchen. There are no dryer hook-ups and all clothes will air dry. There are drying racks (as seen in the above 2nd living room photo). This is going to take some getting used too. 

Bought a fridge. Not a perfect fit, but nice and familiar American size.

Sharp cornered TV stand. Good thing I don't have any babies with me. Although I'm clumsy so...

Good storage. 

I've never seen a microwave with a mirrored front, but now I own one. 

Can't wait to settle into our new place with our family together, and look forward to sharing it.

Where in the World?

I enjoy knowing my place in the world. It's fascinating to think about where I will be situated in the world when I settle in Iran. I'll be "near" the Caspian Sea. Near the holy city of Qom. Near Iraq, Afghanistan, Pakistan, Azerbaijan! It's a far cry from where I've lived most of my life in Texas, Florida & California. And though the trip there will be long and challenging, I find it exciting that I'll be over 30,000 ft in the air, flying over the Atlantic Ocean, Greenland, passing Iceland and parts of Europe into the Middle East.

Our intended flight path. First from Dallas to Dubai.

Then from Dubai to Tehran, Iran

Dallas to Tehran, across the world!

All the places I've lived...

Oh, the places, I'll go. Wish you could join me.

Get Outta Dodge

Growing up in America for nearly 40 years has been good. My parents gave me a comfortable life. And back before I wore hijab, I really felt like I belonged. I remember as a child learning about Martin Luther King Jr, and how America used to be a hostile place for minorities before the Civil Rights Movement. I was glad that was in the past.

Although my husband and I had made our plans to move to Iran before this 2016 election drama began, it DOES seem like a good thing to leave America for awhile (bigots rejoice!). This new Trump culture is unnerving, and I pray that when we are able to come back and live in America again, that the climate here and in the world is one closer to that of my childhood, when it felt like we were on the right track.

I'll admit, I'm glad I've got a ticket out for a bit. My condolences to those of you who can't just move to Canada. Be brave! Be good! There's still more light than darkness. Be the light you wish to see. Netflix and chill.

Life Begins at 40

InshaaAllah (God-willing), in 40 days from now I'll turn 40 years old. They say life begins at 40, so that means I will begin my life at the same time that I begin my life in Iran. Get it?  Yeah, that's deep, yo. What a place to start living!

Of course I am excited, but mostly very nervous. Those feelings do not really matter right now because I need to pack and travel first!

Once we arrive, I'll have to set up house (again!). After we feel "settled," I'm not sure how my children and I will pass our time. We will home-school them but hope to find other structured activities. Other than that, I'll just have to wait and see. I'd love to write a novel or something similarly concrete, but I don't know how practical that will be. Most likely, I'll try to maintain this blog with my experiences there. I'd like to do a post every day as sort of a 365 Challenge. I look forward to cooking so I'll probably post photographs of the salads I make, haha! I'd like to learn a few traditional Iranian recipes.

Back to packing and the long flight (we will be travelling 24 hours straight), I am stressed about what to put in those suitcases and what to take on the long flights.

My kids are thankfully mostly independent, so I don't need to pack stickers or crayons anymore.

But what about for their comfort?
Should I bring Melatonin to help them sleep?
Water and snacks?
I even started wondering if I should take a fold-able foot stool or two for my kids so they can put their feet up sometimes--is that crazy or what?
Any tips or suggestions? Let me know. 

We don't understand life any better at forty than at twenty, but we know it and admit it. - Jules Renard